6 TIPS TO DELIVERING A WINNING PRESENTATION

Giving presentations to audiences, large or small, can be a daunting and anxiety-ridden task. And while some presentations are extremely formal with highly detailed information that requires not getting lost in the detail and lose the overall message, others are informal, but still there is the difficulty of controlling the cross-talk. Whichever form of presentation you are giving, one thing is constant; you’re going to be in front of a group of people, some you may know, some may be total strangers. You’re probably going to be on stage; all eyes are on you, and the audience will have expectations. And every word you say, every nuance, your appearance, the tone of your voice and largely the content of your presentation will be scrutinized in every way.

Presentations are mainly for the purpose of informing, persuading, or building goodwill. So, when your audience leaves at the end of your presentation, they must have been duly informed, persuaded, and must be impressed with the overall presentation. So whether your presentation is about sales, training, entertainment, political, image building or motivational; handling it properly would ensure your audience is left satisfied and would want to listen to you another time. Because anytime you stand in front of an audience, all you should want to do is to grab their attention, stimulate their imagination, inspire confidence in them, and help them develop a better understanding about something.

So, how do you accomplish all that? I have few steps that will offer you some guidelines. Enjoy.

PREPARATION

A good preparation precedes a good performance. So when preparing your presentation and you happen to be using a presentation tool such as PowerPoint, you might want to minimize the number of slides, so you can maintain a clear message and keep your audience attentive and interested.  Also choose a font style that your audience can see from a distance, it is better to avoid fonts that include fancy edges. Another thing is to keep your text simple by using bullet points or short sentences of ten words or less and try to keep each to one line; it’s a PowerPoint, not a PowerEssay. And the aim is to make your audience listen to you presenting your information rather than them reading everything from the screen. More than that, the most essential part of your preparation on the day of your presentation is showing up early to verify that your equipment works properly. Never assume that your presentation will work fine on another computer, ensure that all equipment is connected and running.

RESEARCH THOROUGHLY

You don’t have to be the world’s leading authority, but you have to know the critical facts about your subject of presentation. Talking about things everybody already knows without new facts is a recipe for boredom. Also remember to practice your presentation so that you can speak from bullet points rather that reading them to your audience. The texts on the screen should be your cues and not the full message. Don’t forget to document your sources as well, as you would not want to sound like just a person with an opinion. Though your personal opinion may very well be important but it must not be the only thing you present.

START STRONG, BE PASSIONATE

You better believe that first impressions are powerful. The audience wants to like you and they will give you the first 2-3 minutes at the beginning of your presentation to engage them, those minutes are the most important— don’t miss the opportunity. Don’t go on rambling about some superfluous background information or your professional history, or you will lose them. About passion, know that the biggest line between mediocre presenters and world class presenters is the ability to connect with an audience in an honest and exciting way. Don’t hold back. Be confident and let your passion for your topic come out for all to see. You need great content, great dressing, and well-designed visuals; but a deep, heartfelt belief in your topic will ensure all other things count for something.

ASSERT YOURSELF

For your presentation to be effective, you need to be assertive, but not aggressive. Work on your posture and presence as these two things help you in asserting yourself in public. It is good to dress well and appropriately for your presentation, but don’t forget to appear confident at all times especially during presentation. Your posture while presenting to your audience will create the mood they will see. If something goes wrong, avoid physical apologies by hiding behind a desk or lectern, and don’t be afraid to wait for an audience to settle down before you start speaking or to ask for quiet if this does not happen. Create a strong presence and remember to match your physical behavior to your presence or else your very expensive suits won’t matter at the end of the day. Making a presentation puts you on public display, as an audience not only listens to your ideas, it also responds to the way you use your voice and your body. You need more than a well written presentation to make an impact. You need to deliver it in a lively, flexible and interesting way.

VOICE USAGE

Your voice is a very flexible and powerful tool. You can use it in many different ways by varying the volume, pace, and pitch. Make sure that your voice is loud enough for your audience to hear clearly, but know that speaking too loudly or too quietly can make it difficult for your audience to follow your presentation. Learn when to raise or lower your volume for emphasis. For example, a conspiratorial whisper can draw an audience in; a loudly spoken exclamation can make them sit up and listen. Voice technique and control is a bit technical and there are professional schools around Nigeria where you can register and have a better grasp.

BE PROFESSIONAL, COURTEOUS AND GRACIOUS

Your audience deserves the best version of you, no matter what’s going on in your world. Once you are standing in front, you set the tone and mood of the room, and though it may not be visible, any distractions will be apparent to the audience. Also, when audience members ask questions or give comments, you should be gracious and thank them for their input. And even if someone is being difficult, you must keep to the high ground and at all times by being a gentleman or lady and courteously deal with such individuals. The true professional can always remain cool and in control. Remember, it is your reputation, so always remain gracious even with the most challenging of audiences.

REMEMBER THE ‘B’

This is a bonus tip for people who are new to PowerPoint. Whenever you need to digress a bit from the topic you are discussing, or you want the attention of your audience to be placed solely on you. Just hit the “B” button while your PowerPoint slide is showing on the screen, it will give you a blank screen. And when you are ready to move on with your presentation, just hit the “B” key again, and your slide reappears. Stay Safe

CHEATING: THINGS THEY DON’T SAY

I know I promised myself not to write about relationship or anything remotely connected to it. But I guess relationship talks are not something you can just wish away; the talk will somehow crop up, either on social media or with our buddies. So when I woke up today and got on Walter’s blog to read a couple of stuff, and I stumbled on a particular post (the writer called it admonition) I had an opinion – again. and since I wouldn’t want to leave an epistle as a comment on someone else’s blog, I had to do a post. The title of the post I read on Walter’s blog is “THE THINGS THEY SAY…ABOUT CHRISTIANS AND SEX” and it was written from a woman’s angle, so I believe the writer is a woman, but I cannot tell if she is married or not. I will quote some of her points, I will paraphrase some, and then I will give my opinion.

She started by talking about how a character in a ‘Christian’ Nollywood movie she watched, advised another character (her friend) to cover herself with the blood of Jesus anytime she has to have sex with her unrepentantly promiscuous husband as a “preventive” measure against STIs and highly possible HIV. Then she wrote that she sampled the opinion with other women and a good number of them agreed with the advice and according to her, thank God her jaws were fixed; if not, her mouth would have been lying on the ground probably from the attendant shock.

Now here is her advice verbatim, “Dear sister of mine, I don’t give two rats left ears what your Pastor said about “owing” your husband sex. You don’t! Marriage is a contract and one of its terms is fidelity between a husband and a wife. If your man is making a habit of housing his koboko in different containers, protect yourself with condoms or stop sleeping with him. I said, I don’t care a twit what your so-called Christian brothers and sisters mean by saying you cannot stop sleeping with him unless by agreement. Did he agree with you before breaking those vows of fidelity?”

“When you catch and die of HIV, they won’t be there to raise your children as you would have. The highest eulogy you’ll get is “Eh yaaah! Poor woman…so young…”

That pastor will stand at your tomb and intone, “God giveth and God taketh…” Which God?

God giveth commonsense – USE IT!

Condoms are not of the devil – BUY THEM!

You can survive without sex – STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM”

Now, it seems our dear counselor gave 4 perfect “tips to deal” to a married woman whose husband is an “unrepentant” cheater.

(1) If you have any common sense; stop sleeping with him.

(2) If your common sense is having some ‘guilty conscience’; pity him and sleep with him but you must buy a condom.

(3) I don’t care how you would do it, and it doesn’t matter how, just make him use the condom whether he likes it or not.

(4) If 2 and 3 do not work for him, revert to 1.

And then all your marriage problems are gone – solved. Peace will suddenly return, and you will suddenly have a good home and a model marriage. How easy?

I agree completely when the writer said “marriage is a contract, and one of its terms is fidelity between husband and wife” but truth is fidelity as conjugal faithfulness cannot stand on its own. I am not trying to make any excuse for a cheater, and I believe the reason behind the cheating is not as important as cheating itself; because for me, when you cheat on your married partner, there is no reason enough to justify the action. But life is always about causes and effects. If you always treat the effect without identifying the cause and try to correct it, you might find yourself in an unending circle, a maze, a labyrinth that will leave you perpetually bewildered.

I don’t claim to be an expert on marriage or any issue, and truth is nobody is. We only have a perspective or a few, from our experiences and other people’s experiences. And since no two relationships or marriages are exactly alike, your knowledge would be stunted if your own relationship or marriage is the only experience you draw out from.

Truth is most marriages fail before the couples tie the knot – better believe it. You will be surprised if people could tell you the truth as to why they are getting married to their partners, but nobody will. We all pretend to be fine, since he is a brother in the church, he has a good job and drive a nice car, and she is a sister in the choir with the angelic voice and the body of a goddess; everything should be fine, but you see, everything is not fine. Most churches these days only teach abstinence, and being born again (The Nigerian way) once a brother passes the abstinence test, and he is ‘born again’; he is good enough to be your husband. And once a sister does not wear those skimpy clothes and she prays in tongues, she is the will of the Lord for any church brother. But for people outside the church, it’s a bit different. As a guy, you need to have swag, 6 packs, you have to be tall and handsome, you know kind of Idris Elba look-alike, then you need to have a very nice ride with a nice job and a cozy apartment, you also need to be a horse in bed, and make your woman cum regularly, then you are a husband material. And as a lady, you need to be a ‘lady’ (I don’t know what it means) have a good job, slim, fair in complexion or have Lupita’s skin, graceful steps all the way, know your way around the kitchen and then in bed. Hmmm, I think people outside the “church” are more creative, don’t you think?

Marriage is a contract, a very big one, and it lasts for a lifetime (supposedly) so what are we doing wrong? Let’s see some terms of the contracts as contained in a traditional marriage vow which we read in part in our marriage ceremonies. “I, (name), take you, (name), to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live”

So, my first question is: is the man you are taking as your ‘faithful’ husband, faithful to you in your relationship? Oh! He was cheating on his girlfriend with you, then he upgraded you to the status of the main chic and you think you have won the battle? My dear, you won the war, the battle continues. Don’t get me wrong, people change, they meet someone and their life takes a different turn. But you know he cheats, and he would not stop, he would not change, and you expect the ring or the ceremony on that Saturday to change him. You are asking for too much my sister. A chronic cheat in a relationship will become an unrepentant cheat in a marriage.

Another question is: are you faithful yourself in sickness and in health? Do you love him in bad times and good times or just in good times alone? When he was having some challenges at work or that time he was out of job, did you not ask him to forget about sex and think of how to be “a man” again? When he had this lovely business idea, and was considering resigning from his paid job and launch out, did you support him or did you shoot him down and make him feel little and foolish? Now some woman out there supports his goals, listens to him talk, shares his burden, encourages him, and now you put all the blame on him when he sleeps with that woman? Remember the law of causes and effects. This is not Dettol advert.

Another question: do you honour and respect your husband? Now, Naija feminist will pick up arms against me and ask if the man should not respect and honour his wife as well. But you see, women and even feminists respect their Pastors more than their husbands, and will do anything the Pastor asks them to do, meanwhile he doesn’t give a damn about what they think. I always say to married women that if they could show their husbands, 50% of respect, honour and patience they have for their pastors, marriages in this part of the world will have fewer problems to sort out. But the husband is their equal, and the Pastor is far above. You relate with him like he is your houseboy and someone else relates with him like he is a king, what do you expect? I tweeted about a couple I listened to few days back. The wife insisted that sex is not food, so the man must be contented with having sex once or twice in a month because she doesn’t like sex. So, I asked, Do you think they play Ludo in marriage? they screw in marriage and pretty well too. Lol

Am I giving reasons for men to cheat? No, I would never do that. But when something that was almost perfect gets broken, you try and fix it, and not throw it away. When you stop sleeping with your husband (who was never a cheat before you married him but he is now suddenly cheating) just because you CAN survive without sex and he CANNOT, you are adding to the problem, not fixing it. If you knowingly married a chronic cheat all because he is handsome and rich and you are hoping you being a good wife to him, or him wearing that wedding band would change him, I am happy to announce to you that your struggle aiin’t over yet, keep at it. But if your husband who has been faithful since you were dating suddenly starts cheating in marriage, and you have proof of it; have a talk with him, if he confesses and possibly promises to change his ways, you can both decide that he must go for STDs check before you can start sleeping together again. If he refuses to change, you can decide to move into the guest room or let him know you won’t be having sex with him till the issues are sorted, or speak to a counselor that would tell you what to do next. But if you just ‘lock up’ and decide within yourself not to give him sex anymore till he probably begs for it, what you are saying is that your own 30-something year old Veejay is covered in honey and spice while the 23 year old veejay he is shagging outside is not. And someday, he would miss your honey and spicy veejay and come back begging for it, and become a changed man once he realizes what he is missing. it doesn’t happen that way. So communicate, fix things, find solution, and don’t just lock up and hope everything will go away.

Space will not permit me to write more on this subject, but you can raise or ask anything in the comment section and I will surely answer. Don’t get me wrong, a cheat is a cheat no matter what you do or fail to do. But don’t encourage your otherwise faithful husband to cheat. By the way, wives cheat too, and some husbands contribute to why they cheat, I wrote about it sometimes ago, Read it HERE. Stay Safe.

MARTYRS OF THE KINGDOM OR VICTIMS OF RECKLESSNESS?

When on 12^th of September 2014, a building inside the Synagogue Church of All Nations (SCOAN) collapsed and killed “unverified” number of people, the news as usual filtered on to twitter. Before long, figures were dropping from different sources, bloggers and acclaimed eye-witnesses were all having a field day. Some said 17 were dead, others said 20, some said more than 40, but no one was sure, we all waited with bated breath, some of us even wished it was just a rumour or some badly told pranks, until we started seeing pictures online and our fears were confirmed.

But the first reaction of the church to the incident was to try and cover up the news as much as possible. The church members became aggressive, attacking emergency responders, journalists and anyone who had a camera; preventing them from taking pictures or doing their jobs as they should. Lagos state government soon stepped in and State’s emergency workers were given free access to the site. Then the church switched over to their second plan; controlling the narratives, feeding the press with the story of people who walked out miraculously. One freelance journalist named Ihechukwu Njoku was quoted by many bloggers. In his narration, (I didn’t see the original) he focused mainly on the survivors and not the dead. Bloggers quoted him painting the picture of people who were “miraculously” rescued from under the debris; a man in his late 40’s who was asking if he was really in that building when it collapsed, a woman being stretched towards a waiting ambulance and was shouting ‘God of T.B Joshua, thank you’, a child brought out of the wreckage alive and was reunited with her anxious mother, and plenty pictures where people were seeing jubilating and punching the air in excitement because scores of people were rescued from the rubble. All in a bid to show the public that ‘a lot’ of people miraculously survived the collapse, thanks to God of T.B Joshua.

Then the twitter battle started, especially when Lagos state government informed the public that no approval was given to raise the building from its original 2-storey plan to a 5-6 storey which was the current state of the building before its sudden collapse. And as always, one side believed we should not touch the anointed man of God, we should not ask questions or criticize until we know what really happened, forgetting people were dead already, people who had children, who had families, who had loved ones and their only sin in all these was because they chose to attend the Synagogue Church. Four days after, Mr. Jacob Zuma, the South African president announced that 67 of his compatriots lost their lives in the incident; he ordered the concerned government department to help family members identify the bodies of their loved ones and repatriate their remains as soon as possible. But what did the Nigerian government do? Nothing as usual, instead, some bigots were asking us to pray for T.B Joshua.

As at today, the death toll stands at 80 and counting, and I am angry because of the statement that was released earlier today by the church, in which they blamed the incident on a strange aircraft. “…This incident was preceded by the appearance of a strange aircraft which flew very low over the building four times and then disappeared…” and the other parts of the statement which states “…while those who passed on – martyrs of the Kingdom of God – are retrieved, identified and treated respectfully…” When I read this, I lost my temper. WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS? Who and what is a martyr? After blaming some strange aircraft, all what you could do for the victims is to refer to them as martyrs? No name and no Nationality! How are these people even martyrs? Did they willingly suffer death rather than renounce their religion? Were they put to death on behalf of a belief, principle, or a cause? Who made martyr of them? The government, some anti-Christ organization or who? So, because an aircraft was seeing hovering in the sky around the church environment, which by the way is a common sight in Lagos especially when the airport authority has not cleared the aircraft for landing; Synagogue church has concluded that these people were killed because they were serving God, right? I watched the video of the Pastor himself talking to his members, and they were still clapping for him, interjecting his blaspheme with thunderous applause. What is it with Nigerians; do they distribute stupidity free of charge in our churches? Has anyone paused to ask why would the church under the leadership of Pastor T.B Joshua decide to raise the building from a 2-storey building to a 5 or 6-storey without necessary approval? Why is the building raised in the first place? Is Synagogue making money from this building? Are they culpable of being negligent? We won’t ask all these questions, we would just decide not to judge or touch the anointed.

If one random landlord or a random politician (especially the one we don’t like) in Lagos did same thing and his house collapsed, we would be calling for his head right now. But this is T.B Joshua; no architect, no contractor, no builder, no owner will be arrested and called for questioning, we all are supposed to be looking for the strange aircraft because the Man of God said so. How idiotic and gullible can we be as a people? And then some of his church members and other overzealous religious zombies who believe that, men of God are infallible, you cannot criticize them, you cannot say anything against them, and you cannot judge them are jumping to his defence. Nigerians have a culture of turning “Men of God” to semi gods or better still “GOD” himself and even if these men were caught red handed slaughtering human beings, they would still be excused because they are superior to the rest of us. You all remember Revd. King right? Are we breeding another killer in the fold? Let me even ask you, whenever you say “The God of Oyedepo” “The God of T.B Joshua” “The God of Adeboye” “The God of Bakare” “The God of Oritsejafor” and the rest of them. Are you really sure and very convinced you are calling on the same God that Abraham, Isaac and Jacob served in their time?

Let me disappoint you while you answer that. You see, these men of God are mere mortals like you and I, if they overfeed on wrong combination of food, they will purge, if they don’t bathe for days, they will smell, and if they strayed into a lion’s cage in any zoo, the lion would have a good lunch; they are not exempted from consequences of their actions or inactions. They are subject to the same laws, spiritual or otherwise governing you and I. So, please quit behaving like spiritual mumu and read your bible if you have one. Christianity does not mean you disengage and evacuate your brain for your Pastor to fill it with sawdust. Be like the Berean Christians, who after being taught, will get home and confirm from the scripture if what they were taught was the right thing or not. So, to SCOAN and their apologists, members and non-members alike, you can tell yourself anything, if it would make you sleep better at night, but those people who died in that building are not ‘MARTYRS OF THE KINGDOM, but they are “VICTIMS OF YOUR RECKLESSNESS” Deal with that!

IN BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE PLUS 30%

Nigeria is between a rock and a hard place, we are in a dilemma; a situation offering at least two possibilities, neither of which is acceptable. At least that is what we have come to believe with the discussions going on around us offline and online. We are in a Morton’s Fork situation where our contradictory arguments lead to the same conclusion, albeit unpleasant.

Democracy is a very interesting concept. When I was in secondary school and offering government as a subject, democracy was simply defined for us as “A government of the people, by the people, and for the people”. But growing up and see what democracy is really about, I have come to realize that empirically, the above definition of democracy will only thrive on the pages of a textbook, and in small homogenous communities. So in our increasingly complex world, the only possible form of democracy we can have or should I say the best form we can get, is a situation where the people cede the power of government to one or another of competing elites – it’s called “Elite democracy”.

Agreed, the kind of democracy being practiced now, gives the public/people some opportunity to air their views even when apparently, the elites are the ones governing. But when we air our views, our roles as the public is reduced to that of a rubber stamp, lacking any real power to change anything; especially once we are done electing the elites that will rule us for a specified number of years. So, the only time the public/people have the real power in a democracy is during elections.

Elections give the people the power to accept or reject ‘the elites’ who stand for elections, it gives us the time and chance to scrutinize the choice(s) we would be stuck with till another election. But sadly, in every democracy, no single party anywhere in the world is made up of saints. There are thieves, rogues, crooks, even people who should be behind bars calling the shots in all the parties in any democracy. If you think the Republican Party is far better that the Democrats and vice-versa, maybe you have not been following American politics. But that’s not why we are here.

In Nigeria, some say we have 63 political parties, others say 25 of them are registered. But whichever way you want to look at it, we have only 2 parties who will “seriously” slug it out in next year’s Presidential elections. We know that other parties will be on the ballot papers too but it’s truly a two-horse race between the ruling People’s Democratic Party (PDP) and the All Progressive Congress (APC). But the snag here is PDP has been in power since the return of democracy in 1999. The ruling party has produced 3 Presidents so far and unless you are a PDP member or you just want to economize the truth, you would not argue if I said Nigeria has gone from bad to worse economically, and security wise; but you can still argue all you want, that is why there is a comment section after this post – use it.

Last year, few parties came together to form a strong opposition to the ruling party, and presently they are plotting everything they can to “wrestle” power from the ruling party (Power is no longer with the people, so get used to it) While most people will argue that APC is an amalgamation of political parties with different ideals, a marriage of strange bedfellows, others would tell you, that the singular action of that coalition was the best thing to have happened to Nigeria’s political landscape in the last few years. Whichever side of the divide you are; no one will deny that the competition has just become fiercer. If the ruling party thought they could win votes by merely throwing the ethnic or religion cards on the table like they did in 2011, they are wiser. They know the people would still have to vote; and we all know the class of people who vote the most, and the region with the highest number of voters among all the geo-political zones.

But here we are, faced with the reality of PDP and with the uncertainty that APC brings especially when both of them appear to only know how to tackle or accusing each other rather than stating their ideals and policies to move the Nation out of this quagmire. But the truth here is, we don’t have a political party that is a coalition of angels yet, and we won’t have Jesus Christ on the ballot paper come next year; so, we must make a choice out of the ‘unpleasant’ options. The truth for me here is; I am tired of PDP government, it’s either they are not capable of leading this country or they are simply deceiving us. You cannot be in control of a nation like Nigeria in the last 15 years, and we cannot get basic things right. Yes, electricity is improving in some parts of Nigeria, but isn’t that how it always improves when we are nearing election year? It is called Rope- A –Dope. You know that fighting style Mohammed Ali used in his 1974 Rumble in the Jungle boxing match against George Foreman? Yes, that is it. It’s a simple strategy in which one party purposely puts itself in what appears to be a losing position, attempting thereby to become the eventual victor. So, they give us light very close to election period and we are happy, singing “Kumbayah”. Then we go and vote them again. As soon as the election is over, darkness will return and they will slam us with another fuel hike. (NOTE THIS!) I am no bearer of bad news, but isn’t that what always is happening after each election year?

So in my book, PDP has failed woefully, they have not been able to provide security, they can’t bring our girls back, they can’t even be sincere in their fight against Boko Haram, the soldiers are being owed and their allowances are being shared and swallowed by some pot-bellied idiots in Abuja. Unemployment is on the rise, health facilities are grounded to the extent that our President cannot treat a common headache in Nigeria. Our schools remain shut more than they stay open. They extort the jobseekers and now the Youth Corpers; plus many other crimes of this government which I cannot mention here because of space. So, I have made up my mind to try the opposition at the Federal level, I don’t have to belong to any party to do that. And I stand to say I am NOT a member of APC, I have never voted for ACN or APC in Lagos neither have I voted for PDP. But when it comes to the center, the presidency; one has to choose between APC and PDP. I choose to vote against PDP for now. And if after APC got into power, they are as clueless or more clueless, I will still have the power to vote against them.

My reasons are simple. PDP regime has tolerated corruption more than any other regime in Nigeria. (Please argue in the comment section). The PDP killed young graduates with NIS scam, and no one got punished for it, and they only paid lip-service to the dead. The PDP refused to bring subsidy thieves to book; rather they made us pay more for fuel in our own country. The PDP accuses APC leaders of sponsoring Boko Haram everyday, but they have never been able to prosecute even one of them. The PDP has not been able to bring our girls back till date, and they want to stay in power for the next 4 years, even if this was a marriage, so many of us would be filing divorce papers by now.

Well, those are some of my reasons why I won’t vote for PDP. What are your reasons for planning to vote for them? Don’t tell me the only reason is because APC is not better or you are not sure they would do better. You’d sound unserious if that is your only reason. Make a choice to either break down the rock or go through the hard place. No sitting on the fence here, there is no neutral ground.

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And for the proponents of #30%ornothing, this is to you. Being young isn’t a guarantee of vision, selflessness, patriotism, principle and loyalty. In 2011, women negotiated a certain quota in governance and they got it. How has that improved the lot of the average Nigerian woman? Besides, who told you that for you to get 30% slot, it must be given to you after you must have threatened the “oldies”? Your problem is that you have an irrational sense of entitlement. It won’t kill you, but it causes you to believe that you deserve everything for doing nothing. The names you drop everywhere of our past leaders who were in positions of leadership as youths, the Awolowos, the Pa Enahoros, etc; they didn’t get to be leaders by demanding for their quota, they were the best among the rest, they stood up when others were whimpering under the colonial rule. What do you have to show? How have you even defended the interest of the youths you claim to be your immediate constituency? The Chibok girls are not youths? The ones killed by the NIS job scam were not? The corpers that are being asked to pay N4000 to download call-up letters from some web portal are not? Oh! I forgot you don’t care; you simply want to be in leadership positions. You just want 30% of the National cake or nothing. Abolore Akande (9ice) didn’t and isn’t asking for any quota, he simply went back to his hometown and offered himself for the job, and it’s now left for his people to vote for him or not. So, if you wanted any slot, even 1 percent; throw your hat in the ring, roll up your sleeves, and enter the fray. Come out and show us what you got, contest, test your popularity and stop hiding behind one nonsensical political hashtag. We can see through your deceit, afterall most of your leaders called Chibok a scam, they demonized #BringBackOurGirls. And no matter how you look at it; no matter the angle you view it; length, breath, circumference; being young is NEVER a currency for leadership – anywhere.

TOUCHING HER VAGINA: 6 STEPS (18+)

Women love to be touched, and they respond more to touch than men. I guess that is why they are always constantly pushing men away from having any form of physical contact with them. While a guy will go all hard and swallowing his Adam apple at the sight of a curvaceous woman. It takes most women more than your good looks or your six packs to get to a point where they can’t wait for you ravish their body. And one of the ways you blow your girl’s mind is if you know how to touch her vagina professionally, yes. As in, handle it like a profession. Trust me if you can do it well, you would have her looking forward to relive the experience with you over and over again. So, how do you do it right? How do you touch your woman or any other woman for that matter *winks*

Learning how to touch or finger your woman’s vagina can help improve your sexual repertoire. With the right type of stimulation, you can help her reach orgasm just by using your fingers and hands. It’s also a great activity to do when you’re not in the right place or don’t have time to strip off all your clothes. You know when you are in a dark corner on the club’s dance floor, or while you are just making out during lunch break at work.

But the best situation to touch your woman is when you are both relaxed, or at worst, when she is relaxed and you are both in the comfort of your room. And in this scenario, you might need a lubricant. Yes, lubricant. You can ask around for some good lubricants and you can just ask your girl. Now, let’s get into the art of touching her step by step.

1. Know what she likes.

All women are different and have different sensitive areas on their genital regions. Some women enjoy full finger penetration, while others would prefer you stay near the outer edge of the vagina, which is usually more sensitive. Clitoral stimulation is key for most women while fingering, but some women don’t like having their clitoris touched directly. But in all, knowing what your woman wants is the beginning of taking her to that sexual Eldorado. All you need to do is just ask.

2. Start slow.

No matter what she tells you, or what some of your friends have told you about touching a woman’s vagina; never jump in full force. Remember, you have to arouse her first. Talk dirty, touch her breasts, rub her thighs, kiss her belly-button, kiss her thigh, suck her toes, make her shiver – just whatever your partner needs to get aroused is exactly what you should be doing before you finger her vagina.

3. Touch her softly.

When she’s aroused, she is sure to be wet. After that, proceed to rub her vaginal lips softly, starting at the base of the vaginal canal. You’ll feel the moisture and know that you can go in deeper. But continue this motion for a few more strokes to get her more aroused. Don’t touch the clitoris just yet. Make her moan and whine that beautiful waist. By now, she would even be asking you to insert your finger deeper, but don’t fall for the temptation. Your goal is to satisfy her and make her have your number on speed dial whenever she is in the mood to play. So take more time to touch her softly until she is more aroused.

4. Now insert your fingers slowly.

When she’s plenty wet, insert your finger, the first one, mostly the index, two or three fingers – whatever she likes, into her vaginal canal. But remember to vary your movement, you can ask her if she likes you to insert more fingers, yes. Some women can take the whole fist. Ridiculous? Maybe, but nothing is impossible.

5. G-spot is next.

I remember I have written about how to locate the g-spot. Most of us get it wrong and we never actually find it. If you didn’t read it then, learn it here. When you insert your fingers into the vaginal canal, push them upward toward her stomach. You may be able to feel a small area that has a different texture than the rest of the vaginal canal, much like the roof of your mouth. That’s the g-spot. You might not be able to find it in all women, but if you find it, push on it with full thrusts, as you would your penis during intercourse, stimulating it with fast, even motions.

6. Don’t forget the clitoris.

For the majority of women, clitoral stimulation is the key to climaxing. Rub softly all around her clitoris, which is located just inside the vaginal lips near the top of her genitals. Don’t forget to borrow some lubrication from her vaginal canal. Never rub a dry clitoris or clitoral region. Once she gets really revved up, you can touch the clitoris directly and quicken the pace. You should also be varying the motion, such as flicking back and forth or rubbing in circular motions. When she’s close to reaching orgasm, touch the clitoris directly and move fast. Keep moving faster and faster until she climaxes.

But note that you should not be touching a dry vagina because this will likely be uncomfortable or even painful for her. If your woman is not wet enough at first; use lubrication like I suggested earlier, before starting the fingering process. In my opinion, water-based lubrication is the best.

After all these, do NOT forget to eat her pussy. Yes! DO NOT FORGET. Maybe I might write on how best to eat your woman someday. Or maybe a generous female reader can help us. Just indicate in the comment section. Stay Safe.